Talking About Death And Dying
by Judi Singleton
I work as a caregiver now and for years I worked in a hospital
geriatric ward. I counseled families and patients on death and
dying issues. In the Western society we have not been trained to
talk about our own death so we cannot talk about dying to a
loved one. Most of us find ourselves feeling inadequate to
having this discussion on fear of death, issues of legacy, like
what lives on after a person dies. The old arguments by the
religions do not satisfy a lot of us anymore. Since discoveries
like quantum physics a new view is emerging.
Issues of legacy, that is, what lives on after an individual
dies: The fear of death is to some extent instinctive: nature
has given us the drive to survive. While we live we are not
separated off from nature and the universe: our atoms and
molucules are arranged according to our memory everyday. We
arrange and rearrange our personalities daily. But most of us
strive to keep this set of information intact for as long as
possible. We also are afraid of losing our consciousness. To
fear death is useless Death is nothing to us and no concern of
ours . . . When we shall be no more, when the union of body and
spirit that engenders us has been disrupted - to us, who shall
then be nothing, nothing by any hazard will happen any more at
all. Nothing will have power to stir our senses, not though
earth be fused with sea and sea with sky . . . Rest assured that
we have nothing to fear in death. One who no longer is cannot
suffer, or differ in any way from one who has never been born.
[De rerum natura, iii:828-840; 864-867] The fear of death is
rooted in the belief that spirit is superior to matter. We are
made up with matter and we are constantly interacting with
nature. Rocks, trees, plants, animals, and other humans are all
made up of matter. We are so much a part of this earth that we
have created that we could not lose touch with it. We are one
with nature and all things. If you believe as I do that we
create our world then you can write to your future self and
create the aging process, the process of death, you can resolve
your fears. By using affirmations, journal writing,
visualizations, prayers and meditation.
article re-published 12 July 2006
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